I went to the Nashville .NET User Group meeting a couple weeks ago, and it was an interesting mix of people. They had several top recruiters in the area show up to answer questions about the job market, resume advice, and some career tips.

One of the things that all the recruiters agreed upon is the fact that most of their clients are putting up job requirements that are a bit… unrealistic. It’s understandable that companies want the most for their money and are trying to get people who are capable of performing the duties multiple, former employees.

However, these people are rare, justifiably want to be well compensated, and aren’t on the market as the companies they are currently working for want to retain them.

That said, I just read a job listing for a new startup in Pittsburgh. Here’s the list of credentials that they want in a User Interface Designer.

  1. Understanding, Knowledge, and Experience with All (yes, indeedy, they said ALL) Common Programming Languages (Java, C#, SQL, Visual Basic, HTML C++, Etc.) (Portfolio of Work Required)
  2. iPhone SDK 3.0+ Knowledge and Experience (Portfolio of Work Desired)
  3. Android Platform SDK Knowledge and Experience
  4. Front-End and Back-End Database Knowledge
  5. Website Design and Development (Portfolio of Work Required)
  6. Excellent User Interface Development Experience and Knowledge
  7. Adobe Flash
  8. Adobe Dreamweaver
  9. Strong Graphic Design Understanding: Adobe Creative Suite (Photoshop, Illustrator, etc.)
  10. eCommerce Knowledge and Experience
  11. SMS & MMS Knowledge and Experience
  12. Experience and Knowledge in Search Engine Optimization

Ok, whoever this person (if he/she exists) is, is a rockstar among rockstars. Most likely less than 100 people in the entire United States of America could confidently have all of this on their resume – and back it up.

Here’s the kicker, in the job posting, there’s the text “The successful candidate will have 2 to 4 years of experience as a software engineer/UI designer…”

Um, yeah. A 4-year professional will have all that experience.

Considering that, which one of them would give up whatever highly paid, secure job they have now to go work for a startup in Pittsburgh, get paid in promises and stock-options, work 18 hour days, be unappreciated, and then – most likely – be discarded when the company fails?

That’s my new, favorite job description. Also, if you are reading this, and you land that job, please take a moment to leave a comment here and let me know you exist.

Link to job description:
http://pghcareerconnector.com/jobs/JobDetails.aspx?id=11114