The destruction of the Seattle Seahawks by the Pittsburgh Steelers in the Extra Large Super Bowl, has caused many people in the country to consider the use of the Pittsburgh Monetary System. If you followed the press during Super Bowl week, then you know about a phenomena called “Steeler Nation”. Briefly, this is a term coined to describe the proliferation of Steelers fans throughout the U.S. providing a strong Steeler presence no matter where the Men of Steel play.

The swelling of interest in the Steelers has prompted a group named Pittsburgh Residents Obviously Underutilizing Dipthongs (PROUD) to start a movement to establish a local monetary system that reflects the cultural pride of the Pittsburgh area.

Here is their proposal.

fiddy = 50 cents
dawur = 1 U.S. dollar
hunnert = 100 dawers
thaazin = 1000 dawers (or ten hunnerts)

An example of this new system would be “a hunnert thaazin dawers” which is the equivalent of US $100,000. This new system, while not changing the current value of U.S. currencies, would allow people to ask for different denominations from their bank without the extensive use of their vocal chords or tongue – a worthy goal.

PROUD is attempting to use the overwhelming success of their earlier initiatives such as “The Dahntahn Utiwty Program” which converted all of the water-based radiators in Southwestern Pennsylvania to rahdiaters. Another success was their push to decrease the use of vulgar language in areas schools. The “Warsh Yer Maath Aht” did provide an area-wide drop of cussing by almost 2%. Admittedly, this is only because they changed the local euphamism “jagoff” to be pronounced “jagov”.

Stanley P. Kachowski, a local soup expert, is the spokesperson for PROUD and in the press conference announcing the “Allegheny Caahny Dawer Program”, said that he proudly endorsed this program and promised to “take all yinz dahn ta Eat n’ Park to get some eggs n’at.” A truly generous soul.